Dinge passieren für ein Grund

let the wind blow this message

2011-05-22T23:31:00.001+10:00

Randomly typed:

When I'm upset I tend to go and shop for food! I don't eat them straightaway however I feel relieved every time I do that. I don't like being ignored or being left not from you. :/ I wish some day I could let you know this uncomfortable feeling where I have to hide everything. I couldn't help but release all of my awkward feeling to food at least that was a positive escape. Ops another crazy thought of mine too, I don't know but I wish you weren't gay. Oh! that's the last thing on earth that I've ever wanted to know. Also, I want you to know that you shouldn't keep me waiting for too long or I might need to change my way. Tomorrow never dies my friend. And please don't make me upset else you're going to make me even fatter :/

I carry this in my prayer. I wish someone up there pass this to you and let you know that this is from me.

"You got me singing, lalalalala"-NeYo

little wonders

2011-02-20T22:22:00.000+11:00

Around here, however we don't look backwards for very long.

We Keep Moving Forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious...

And curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.

-Walt Disney-

Warm greetings from Sydney and I can't wait for winter to come.

So, I'm currently having a mind blockage here and I think it is quite acceptable.

'till then...I wish you all well.

New Y(ou)ear.ME.

2011-01-01T18:13:00.003+11:00

I, hereby with proud saying that the year 2010 has been a blessing and a great journey. I gained most of my goals and got even more that I have ever expected. For the whole year, I have been bumped here and there and being forced to stand up to become a better person and I'm glad I've been stronger than I thought. The weakness sometimes still struck me but with faith I know every thing will be just fine. The highandlow situations were expected as well and even though it was hard and difficult but it sure drives me to a lesson and it becomes a precious one. I made mistake and I learnt my lesson, I am not going to stop learning every now and then. Believing that bad things could turned out to be a good one on the other hand expecting good things to become better.

With the words new before the year, I got all the new things that I am sure need to work on along with the year 2011. Welcoming 2011, I am sure I have fastened my seat-belt. You?!

Was ending it with couple of friends, waiting at the Circular Quay not very far from where we all stay with all the people and the sun. After all, it got paid off with the spectacular fireworks and again Sydney City has presented one of the most spectacular fireworks and done an amazing job. Pictures are not very many but all the images are here inside my heart. So, I wish you a very Happy New Year and for those who does not seem to care, Hey! What is life if all you've done is being miserable inside your box? You could get better if you stop making things complicated and start doing something.

it was written "JESUS" after the words "R U OK?" but I didn't get the chance to captured it.

oh, YES! It was sooo packed.

So, Happy New Year 2011 all! May you have a blessed year ahead! Keep the spirit on!

*was trying to upload some videos but I guess it didn't work out*

Double Joy in December and it is Christmas

2010-12-29T17:58:00.000+11:00

UhOh! I missed the boxing day again, this is the third time. On boxing day, we went cherry picking to Orange, NSW. Yeah! it is named after Orange the fruit :) I'm so happy that I finally could spend my time with my family. I didn't get the chance to spend the Christmas eve and day with them so I spent it cherry picking on the boxing day. Fair enough! This year is just so crowded for me why? Because I got my friends here and my family. SO EXCITING! :D

Ohoh! did I share my Christmas presents with you? My Christmas presents come early and I feel truly grateful for that. Thank you, God :) So, I am no longer a student err am thinking of getting a Master degree but nah, I want to enjoy being free from books for some period of time. And, I got my new job which I will be starting working next year, Jan 5th oh how exciting! :)

Couple weeks ago since I've finished my school, I've been busy working and travelling up and down between Blue Mountains and city and it is sooo tiring. I'm glad that I finally resigned from the fine dining job. It was pretty hard for me to tell my manager that I wanted to resign but life has to go on. I just can't afford to spend 4hours time return travelling up and down every day. Life is about choices and it has to go on. The sad thing is I will be jobless for err 2weeks time? Well, lets wish that the time flies like it always does.

oh! my Christmas cupcakes! They are so cute, aren't they?

Merry Belated Christmas :)

This year Christmas is a bit different from the previous years. I got friends here together with me :) and on New Year's eve too!!! Ohyeah! This year we're going to wait from midday to midnight in Circular Quay just to see the spectacular fireworks :) wanna join?

The fireworks this year will be amazingly the same like previous one but the friends I got here that will make it different. xxx I can't wait!

The Illusion and The World behind me

2010-12-20T17:20:00.001+11:00

"My courage and resolution is firm; but my hopes fluctuate and my spirits are often depressed. I am about to proceed on a long and difficult voyage, the emergencies of which will demand all my fortitude: I am required to only to raise the spirits of other, but sometimes to sustain my own, when theirs are failing."

Frankenstein, or, the Modern Promotheus

Here I am sitting in my new apartment which I love it and facing the harbour view which is just perfect. So, waiting for my life to go on and few days has passed in just a snap since my last day at school and now am holding on to the Bachelor degree. Things has not changed specifically except that my heart now is I think trying to find something to hold onto cause sometimes I find myself tired with all the world has offered me and I need a back up, for me to hold. Been busy with moving to this new house and still waiting for the confirmation of my new job. Fingers crossed for everything and I need bunch of luck :)

the Prayer

2010-12-09T02:03:00.001+11:00

I thank God because I do not always get what I want every time I pray, instead I have been given what I need and that is the best.

I silently prayed so that my work shift get cancel today with the excuse that I wanted to study for my upcoming exams or perhaps I was just feeling lazy. I prayed, just so that my manager would call me and cancel it. No ring, faint-heartedly I went to work and again I found myself silently praying, that I would like to do my best at work today so I need the support and strength. At the end of my shift, I found myself being able to carry three main plates steadily and this made me realize that if I have not come to do my shift I might miss this chance to be trained by my senior colleagues. Not that I never carry three plates, the thing is what we have learnt at school is totally different if to compare with the real industry. I am working with a five star fine dining restaurant and I am expected to be able to carry plates steadily without destroying the chef's so called food-art. I tried to carry those plates last week which ended up being scolded by the head chef.

It is not a big story to tell, but what I am trying to sell here is that in life, what we want is not always what we need. Always ask for the best and really I am not a religious person myself but I do believe that God exists and I have been given the best way to live my life.

The up-s and down-s on December

2010-12-06T15:20:00.003+11:00

December and it means the end of the year.
Things pass so fast recently that I barely realized it and *pops* I am standing here facing my last final exams ever in my entire life. Oh, yeah! How exciting it is that in no time I will be a Bachelor. The thing is the passion to study hasn't gotten into me just yet. I feel so lack behind seeing my friends putting all their will to face these very last exams. Why can't I? Been complaining a lot yet no action been made. *bangmetothewall*

As long as I know, people have been congratulated me for my pre-graduation. I am happy and feel so excited about it, I really do, but deep down there, I am worried. The fact that I am going out there to face the far more fierce life that it could offers me weaken my knees. I feel so insecure yet trying to be positive here. Whatever lives have to offer me, I am here to stand strong and face them. I do believe that the harder you fall, the better person you ought to be.

Another exciting news that I really want to share is, Oprah is going to perform her last show on 14th December at the Opera House. Oh! I am going there for sure. :) and it will be my after exams. yey! (although I might only stand outside of the building seeing nothing but who knows I might get lucky, HAHA!)

.Inside the clouds; you are saved.

2010-10-26T22:42:00.000+11:00

I wrote your name on the clouds so whenever I miss you, I could see them and think of you. Please forgive me for being who I am and that this person inside might probably forget how to love and become one. I forgot how to love and I hate myself for being so effortless.

.I lose myself along with the disappearance of the sun.

2010-10-20T00:43:00.001+11:00

This place wouldn't be called as BlueMountains if the weather hasn't changed randomly from sunny to rain, rain to sunny, windy to snowing, snowing to sunny. We had a really good quality time with the SUN yesterday as the three of us was sunbathing under the lovely well, Sun! The rest was just fooling around the pool. The weather up here was a pretty crap these few days. I mean, it is SPRING already, can't we enjoy the real spring up here? And yes, it was snowing on Saturday, raining on Sunday, unbelievably warm and sunny on Monday, and a very gloomy Tuesday. Again, I do not have self-control upon myself. The feeling of loss is insufferable. and oh! I just bang my head to the wall accidentally. Ouch! it hurts!!! I think it is a sign that I need to wake up from my dreamworld. My mood was as sunny as the weather and it drops along with today's. Along with it, I keep on asking myself, what did I do wrong? Is it me? or that I will never get lucky with it?
owhhhhh..my head!!

.i stare with the cloud above my head.

2010-10-16T00:55:00.001+11:00

I was like having a big bump on my head. The useless thought of mine been haunting my dream and reality life. The ability of me to control them is effortless with the joy of doing it I found myself lost in my own wilderness. Surround with the chitchat-ing shadows, I walk pass them, never intend to join, I ignored most of it. Laying back on the green grass, feeling the cool breeze, I waited. This is not the life I wanted, my other half whispered together with the wind. They seemed to get along really well, the feeling of jealousy grown within the short period of time. The warm feeling of touch and a very familiar voice catch my consciousness, I smiled, I felt peace, it didn't last long. It gets away along with the shadows, giving me not a chance to show how I really do care. I really do care...

.a mini curiosity.

2010-10-14T23:22:00.001+11:00

When life gives you chances to some great things, you have two choices, you either grab and hold onto it or let it get away. The question is what if when you were trying your best to hold onto it, you were as well giving yourself a space just to examine and to search for a more understanding, it turned its back on you and walk away?

My other half is currently facing the same drama as the above, I guess she will have to face another bumpy road ahead, not as rough as before I believe, but seeing from the potential risk, she might be broken once again on the same spot. However, in the end, everything will always be fine. It won't take so long to get rid this one, she told me that. *it's okay; it's okay; it will always be okay*

i captured my words from the thorns of the roses

2010-10-13T23:48:00.001+11:00

"Take deep breaths and hold them. Try to stay still for longer and longer periods of time. Make yourself small and like a stone. Curl the edges of yourself up and fold them under where no one can see".

The Lovely Bones

Its winter cold; dark and hurt even roses have thorns.

Throughout the night I flew up high, creating a better idea of view and light.

Being pulled to the real world, fallen to the emptiest barn, silence.

With the path in front, passing through the jungle of lies and pretends,

Deep dark hollow, crawling through it created bruises and pain,

I know I know I know.

Even the strongest man on earth slumped.

Again, I was flying up too high, its human nature that makes me fall down twice.

Being pulled down again to the emptiest, I vowed...

with the exhausted consciousness, I run with the vow. But again, I'm standing still. I failed.

I'm holding to the roses with thorns, bleeding.

But look at me, I am free.

FW: who am i, (are you?)

2010-10-11T16:02:00.000+11:00

http://meminemyselfandi.blogspot.com
I was tagged by my sister on her blog couple months ago...

I am about to reveal myself at this moment but I am not sure either whether I am aware or not with the writings I am going to write, now.

I like dogs.
I don't easily get along with people. Not even a friend that has been friend for couple of years.
Thinking of doing psychology, don't ask me! hell, yeah I am stuck with hospitality now! who's to blame?
I like listening to slow, catchy, melancholic songs but they also make me feel like a dumb-fool. wt*?!
I am the weather. I change personality easily. Sunny in the morning, rain at noon, windy in the evening. What say you?
When it comes to love, oh! I am so s*ck.
Believe it or not, I get pissed easily when it is too crowded. People just don't know what they are doing some time. oh don't worry, sometimes I don't too!
I don't share my feeling or thought with just anyone, that's why, ask me! I might not tell but yeah, just ask.
I love reading books! They take you to places you can only dream about.
I get totally confused when it comes to choosing and deciding.
As the matter of fact, I am a girl who runs and jumps and take turns to see the two different world at the same time.
You think I'm pathetic, I guess I am, under some circumstances! but..look into the mirror, my friend.

Am I telling you the truth? I might; I might not.

karena manusia rakus apa adanya

2010-10-11T02:22:00.000+11:00

Sesuatu yang telah diberikan, kita pikir itu milik kita.

Sesuatu yang telah didapatkan, kita pikir itu milik kita.

Sesuatu yang telah diperoleh, kita pikir itu milik kita.

Semua milik kita, punya kita dan menjadi hak kita.

Tanpa disadari begitu kita berpisah darinya,

sakit rasanya,

dalam penderitaannya,

besar kehilangannya,

dalam jurang kesedihannya,

Datang tanpa diundang, pergi pun tak berbekas.

Yang datang dan yang pergi semua bukan milik kita.

Tidak perlu lah kita menderita karena melekatinya.

Selagi bersama, bahagialah.

Selagi memiliki, hargailah.

Selagi ada, rasakanlah.

Sewaktu berpisah, kenanglah.

Sewaktu pergi, relakanlah.

Sewaktu kehilangan, lepaskanlah.

Setiap orang terlahir dengan tangan kosong, ketika semuanya berakhir, kenanglah, relakanlah, lepaskanlah.

Anonymous

wake up! i don't write stuff like that. It just got me, like seriously got me!

Think people think! Oh yeah, that includes myself!

Are you a tigger or an eeyore?

2010-07-29T14:20:00.005+10:00

Warmest greeting to Novi Meyanto. (: update update update.

Lets see...

First class at 8am in the morning, i thought it would be the same boring tutorial class as the previous weeks, oopss..i was wrong, totally!

Our insane yet interesting lecturer showed us a video which aim was to prove to us that a successful entrepreneur doesn't always have to be a non-academic person although can not be bear that most of them have never actually completed their academic life. She ended showing us a video which tells us that there are entrepreneurs that succeeded because of their great academic record. Here's the example.

I think I'll share with you whoever you are just to show that people's life could be unbelievably great and so could ours.

Randy Pausch who succeed as a social entrepreneur and he did complete his studies.

Randy Pausch in Oprah Show. aha! did i just say Oprah? ;)

In case you find any difficulty please click here.

It could be very touchy or at least, i found it so.

I hope you could pick up the lesson of how he really adored his life by the time you have watched it, I hope you could feel the same as he did 'cause this video did open my eyes about the way I see (saw) my life, it is a short version of his video, you could download or view his complete video here.

getting ready for my next class. ciao!

It's time to roll it up again.

2010-07-28T23:03:00.007+10:00

have been thinking of updating this super deserted blog recently.

And I think tonight, finally, after months of being abandoned, i'll try to start the engine again.

So, life's been an up-side down hill to me..(i dunno whether or not that words actually exist).

First!

I've started again my school life a part of my work life. Yep, i am totally finish with all my internship hours and ready for the battle of my final year at this school.
School means facing all the killer subjects and annoying assignments. Besides my daily activities which are classes and assignments, school means the cold BlueMountains weather. It IS freezing cold with an additional point that it is winter now. I like it the most when I wake up in the morning and the sun is there to greet me up. But in life you can't always get what you want.

Oh, being back to school means a new home again to me. I don't know whether you realize it or not, but I've been moving a lot for the past two years. This time is a bit different though, I don't stay with my school anymore, I got to stay with my four lovely friends in this small, comfy, lovely house not far from our school which I like it (:

So far that I've concerned, we've been doing almost every thing together.

72 Craigend.. ♥

Second!... to be continue ;)

your secret my secret too and it is true.

2010-05-20T00:01:00.002+10:00

"I miss seeing your name lighting up whenever you talk to me on MSN.

You don’t start conversations with me anymore. And I’m too scared to start one."

Six Billion Secrets

Their courage to tell out secrets makes me even better to face my life ahead and how true they are.

I just want to let the wide world know.

2010-05-18T22:39:00.005+10:00

've been reading a book lately, called Shatter by Michael Robotham and I was amazed by how he could arranged the plot so nicely and how he could created the feeling of you being there inside the book on the scene itself.

And a short note from the book itself which words are too true for me and from the very minute I read those note, I fell in love.

This note is on the very first page just before the story begins...

"There is a moment when all hope disappears, all pride is gone, all expectation, all faith, all desire. I own that moment. It belongs to me. That's when I hear the sound, the sound of mind breaking.

It's not a loud crack like when bones shatter or a spine fractures or a skull collapse. And it's not something soft and wet like a heart breaking. It's a sound that makes you wonder how much pain a person can endure; a sound that shatters memories and lets the past leak into the present; a sound so high that only the hounds of hell can hear it.

Can you hear it? Someone is curled up in a tiny ball crying softly into an endless night."

Shatter by Michael Robotham

This is not a pathetic blog like what I used to write in my previous blog. This is just what I found true that lonesome, sadness, stupidity, mistakes and other bad feelings in the world are actually exist and true. Some people said that it was a bullsh*t and people shouldn't take it too seriously but every human's mind is unbelievably different.

cause we are so bored!!!

2010-05-18T18:46:00.005+10:00

This is what will happen when two girls walked the city randomly...

Narcissism detected!!!

*oohh ignore the last picture ;p* I was soooo into my song :D I ♥ karaoke...

My short note to my friend.

2010-05-14T23:40:00.002+10:00

I've just realized that one of my favourite blogger has just signed her blog off which is sad cause her blog couldn't be more inspiring for a person like well, me.

Her thoughts. Her words. The way she wrote. How she could described what she feels. I know this is weird but sometimes her words was just exactly what has been in my mind for that moment. Whenever I ran into her blog, I was like, Hey, you're right and thanks for bringing it up. Although I never really talk to her in person about how amazingly her blog could inspired me and I don't know whether she knew it or not. But yes, I believe your blog couldn't be more lovable for such a person like me.

Keep writing! Keep chasing your dreams. Keep Trying. Keep Believing. Keep Loving. Keep Smiling.

Couldn't write more cause something is stuck here, again. And if you have ever read this and I think you will.

We're going to miss your blog Novi Meyanto. I think you have the talent.

you will soon

2010-05-14T23:09:00.002+10:00

"Things happen for a reason" and if you have not seen the reason, you will soon.

"Things happen for a reason" and it does.

Be aware of it cause I've seen it and proudly I said, "Yes, things happen for a reason."

Whatever it is, it taught us something more about life and encourage us more.

I hope this will help. (:

He does everything but one

2010-05-12T22:55:00.007+10:00

The points below could be the only reasons why I could love teddy (read:teddy bear)

my teddy bear will always stay by my side no matter what.
my teddy bear will always wait for me to come home.
my teddy bear will always has his smile ready for me whenever I need it
my teddy bear will listen to all my complaints.
my teddy bear will bear with my madness.
my teddy bear, believe it or not will give his sympathy on my lowest state.
my teddy bear replaces someone I love.
my teddy bear lets me hug him no matter what.
my teddy bear lets me cried out loud; as loud as I can or as silence as I could be.
my teddy bear lets me punch his arm his face his legs and still smile.
my teddy bear, bear with my madness.
my teddy bear warms me in this cold winter night.

He does nothing, says nothing but listens to everything and will always agree with what I said.

He does everything but one. He feels nothing.

Love him more cause surprisingly he could be the only one you could count on to.

9.5.2010

2010-05-09T23:09:00.003+10:00

This date last year...I'm sure that THAT will be a sweet memory strongly needed to be saved.

This date this year...under the circumstances that only myself would understand...When you dare to do one stupid thing in public and ignore just everyone else and just concentrating on what you are doing for the sake of someone you care, I believe that's what I called LOVE.

what I want you to know

2010-04-07T22:47:00.003+10:00

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you." ~A.A. Milne

"A woman's heart is deeper than the ocean"

2010-04-06T19:00:00.002+10:00

No! instead of letting me go, let me stay...

There are more words that supposed to come out but it stuck here yes..just here...this will do i think...

there are times when you have to ignore just everything and face the world

2010-04-05T23:26:00.003+10:00

'cause you've driven me into confusion where I couldn't bear whether to step forward or backward. And 'cause you seemed to be so far away when we were there spending our time together.

Let me go cause I've let you go.

"Sacrificing is saying No to what you think is Yes"

what's on MY mind...

2010-03-16T21:04:00.003+11:00

Home...

mommy's cooked food...

10th June...

BOSE...

dermatologist...

skin problem...itchy itchy itchy...

boy boy boy...

love love love...

kitkat...

chocolate...

broccoli...

days off...

suddenly won a lotto...

what doesn't belong to you, will never be yours...

if he is happy then everything is fine...

i am happy (i think so)...

i have a big heart (which i believe)...

a dog fell from balcony (stupid owner!!!)...but it is okay which is good...(:

i want to skip my year 3 but still graduated...

work work work...

housekeeping never gets better...never!!!

OWL city!!!

winter without you...

we promised to spend our winter together but it never happens...(no hard feeling) (:

sleep...

books books books...

charles & keith...

ipod for little sister...lay-by???

washing machine is not working...wt*

i'm too lazy to give a shit on everything on everyone...'m not your mother...

i wish i don't have to care but i can't...

"If my heart was a house, you'd be home" Owl City

yes, piano...

i really want a dog cause my apartment is pet allowed (:

I believe back then when I haven't decided to go home, three months never take this long to pass...

bad knee...

sleep sleep sleep...

blank blank blank...

...

((:

10 amendments from "Man In The Sky"

2010-03-06T22:58:00.002+11:00

Mark Bellison: "This is what happens after you die and it is written on these two pizza boxes"

Number 1 : "There is a man in the sky who controls everything."

Number 2 : "When you die, you don't disappear into an eternity of nothingness. Instead, you go into a really great place."

Number 3 : "In that place, everyone will get a mansion. It will be the best mansion you could ever think of."

Number 4 : "When you die, all the people you love will be there."

Number 5 : "When you die, there will be free ice cream for everyone. All day and all nights, whatever flavours you could think of."

Number 6 : "If you do bad things, you won't get to go to this great place when you die."

Number 7 : "You got three chances; three chances and you're out."

Number 8 : ...

Number 9 : "The man in the sky who controls everything decides if you go to the good place or the bad place. He also decides who live or who dies."

Number 10 : "If the man in the sky does bad things to you, he makes up for it by giving you an eternity of good stuff after you die."

The Invention of Lying

Remember this

2010-03-05T17:16:00.002+11:00

"On the days we're not together, I want you to remember that you're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and you're smarter than you think. But the most important thing to remember is even when we're apart, I'm with you." Persistentlove

that figure

2010-02-06T00:45:00.002+11:00

somehow (although it is hard to accept the truth) that I'm missing "the figure" that has gone from me

for god's sake...behave please...

2010-01-22T21:23:00.003+11:00

Some people are just being too ignorant and it drives me crazy-well almost there...

In the matter of fact that we are all grown ups and I think we SHOULD act like one...being responsible and more sensible to your surroundings...or am I being too fussy here?!

Is it really just me? I wonder...

8.40 pm

2010-01-20T20:28:00.003+11:00

"Mencintai dan keinginan untuk memiliki adalah dua hal yang sangat berbeda"

Ayat-Ayat Cinta

and I hope I could differentiate them and not to take them wrong...

.A cup of tea makes my day. ♥

2010-01-14T11:46:00.004+11:00

Thursday morning...

sitting and sipping a cup of tea, having two pieces of toast, enjoying the wind and viewing my balcony looking into the sky.

I feel so blessed for the day and I can't thank you enough ((:

Such a simple thing to make my day, it's weird, ay?

Audrey has come back from Jakarta and our home is not that quiet anymore haha. I envy her that she got to go back and have met her family when I am stuck here still counting on days till I could fly back to Medan *sobsob*

This morning when I suddenly woke up 'cause I found that the room was quite warm plus I needed to pee which made me couldn't continue my sleep anymore; I was thinking "I want to be more mature and wise and start correcting my life." yeah, it was quite out of the blue.

Mature in other words; to start correcting my bad habits, listen to others, to forgive, to understand others, to think out of the box, to see things in two different ways-not just my ways.

Wise in other words, knowing all the consequences of everything, the way I face myself and others and do not want to be a naive person and STOP complaining on little things!!!

Above all, I still want to be myself but a bit better in personality.

The most important point is I don't want to be NATO (no action talk only) I know it is difficult and I know I need time but I hope every thing will work out fine..

My cup of tea has finished now and I think I'm done with today's post. ((:

A little note:

Maybe this post is a bit too much of the contain but again I wanted to stress out that this is my thought and again I don't want to be naive and telling the world with my big ego saying that I want to be a better person (who doesn't?), sure that I won't be able to make it all up in just a click but I am trying my best.

Anw, I hope for those who read this post got the meaning of it and not misunderstood it. (:

♥♥♥

me, being out of the blue...

2010-01-08T22:04:00.002+11:00

You left me; that's your mistake.

I couldn't make you stay, that's my mistake.

Again, I have never give up on love, i'm pausing it...

Give me a break...!

2010

2010-01-04T22:49:00.004+11:00

too sweet to be told

too sad to be remembered

too complicated to be understood

New Year Eve of 2009 in welcoming 2010, I know its a bit late to greet everyone a Happy New Year.

To be honest, I am quite excited in welcoming this new year. I wonder what else is going to happen in my life for the next 12 months? Another disappointment? Another laugh? Another tears? Another hope? Another promise? Another achievement? Another love? Another failure? Another success? Another life lesson?

2009 is indeed toosweettobetold; toosadtoberemembered; toocomplicatedtobeunderstood.

2010 is...(well, let me figure it out first 'till the next 12months ;) )

Wish every one good luck and fasten your seat belt everybody ;)

and again...Happy New Year 2010

It's Christmas everybody...

2009-12-25T13:16:00.003+11:00

I think every body must been busy with today, yay it's Christmas Day so Merry Christmas that all I can say.

Christmas this year may be a little bit different for me, same thing will happen to my New Year's and Chinese New Year's.

I don't have to explain about the difference, all I know is it is different and I feel it.

What remain the same is I want to thank God that He blesses me with my family being here.

When I said family it doesn't mean my parents directly. When I said family I mean family; to mention they are my lovely ku2, her boyfriend and my sug2 although he can't join us but will meet him soon (:

To clarify that actually we didn't do any fancy thing to celebrate the Christmas.

We had dinner at my place which was so random, chatting and everything. It was really not a celebration but somehow I feel glad that I was not alone on my Christmas Eve's and my Christmas Day.

Thank you.

...and Merry Christmas every one...

p.s I wish I could spend my Christmas with you and every body else (;

aaah, how excited..! (:

2009-12-14T11:04:00.003+11:00

hey hoo...

Time really flies so fast. six months ago I just finished my year 1 internship and has to come back to continue my year 2. Today, I finished my year 2 and is going to my second internship. Wuah, another six months before my year 3 and is that mean that I'm graduating soon?! Yay...
Final exam is always killing me, I hope I did alright on my exam except that I think I screwed up my economics paper. Shoot!!! NO F please ):

Well well..
How time flies so fast, it is so unbelievable. You know what, I found myself is moving on same as others with more confidence and strength or whatever you want to call it cause I don't know exactly how to express it. It just a weird feeling inside me but it makes me feel...great??

Now, I know how to see the world more wisely and how to put my step on this long journey. I feel more alive and excited about tomorrow and greatly excited about today and of course another thanks and experience to learn from yesterday.

Packing up today for I need to check out from my school and move to Sydney for another six months for my internship. Gosh! I have lotsa stuffsss...HELP!
Lack of sleeping syndrome too. Argh!

Anw, enough for today post I think. Run out of words.

Catch you up later when I arrived in Sydney safely :D

Yes, it is...

2009-12-02T03:21:00.004+11:00

Nat: "But, Widya...you can't give up on love. NEVER give up on love. Kasih itu besar."

Nat: "Don't expect it but put your hope on it. The greatest thing comes when you least expecting it. Semua itu akan indah pada waktunya."

I pray to God every night...

Please, Take care of him.

I don't expect much as long as he found his happiness.

Thank you. Amen.

And again a reminder to myself, "It is time to let go..."

Yes, it is... (:

Gun shots

2009-11-30T00:09:00.002+11:00

I am so terrified...
A guy got two shots at the end of the road and he is still walking around this area with a gun on his hand.
Forty-five polices came up from Sydney and Penrith still searching for this guy.

Aaahhh, hopefully everything is fine.

God, keep us safe...

So, Audrey has finally came back from city; of course with her boyfriend "ta-rang" hahaha
Oh, how sweet they are... :D

Bits and pieces

2009-11-29T00:52:00.002+11:00

Have I told you about the time I went to the whitest beach on this planet Earth? Or at least that is what I’ve been told about-try Google *grin. Well, it was a bit deserted because when I reached there it was like an island without people aaaahh it was amazing. I couldn’t believe my own eyes at that time.

I feel like I am in heaven, I just want to sit there enjoying the sea breeze…aahh I’m lazy to upload those photos. Google it then if you’re curious -> Hyams Beach, Jervis Bay, Australia.

Not just the beach, we went to watch the whale and dolphin as well. One hour by boat, watching the whale, on the way back we were lucky because some dolphins came out and it was unexpected. It was FANTASTIC… :D

Anyways… Audrey is not here. She is with her boyfriend right now in the city. Yes, Audrey left me alone here. ): But I do enjoy being left alone. Somehow it comforts me, being left alone in this big room. You can say that I am an introvert and that is very true. :p but I enjoy being with people too so I think it really depends on how the situation is.

I keep on thinking about how funny a human life is. Well, I found it funny though and about people keep on saying that life is like a wheel, there is up and down circumstances. It is exactly what I am seeing right ifo my face. Chill…it is not a big deal besides it is just a small case and it is just funny for me. When I was in a relationship, I found that my friends that are close to me, they were struggling to keep their love alive or even still trying to find out what love is for them. Here I am being single and suddenly they are where I was before, being in a relationship. Haha.

Congratulations every one… Love each other and be wise. (;

It is time for me...to let go...

2009-11-28T01:04:00.001+11:00

I found myself lying on my bed again but this time with a different situation where I found myself a total different person whenever I flashed back the time into approximately 9months ago when everything in my life was I guessed “just perfect”. How funny life is that it could possibly change one person into another within 1second, with just a couple of words and after a few tears.

I found myself lying on my bed again but this time with a different situation when I felt lonelier than I have ever. I found myself a total different person that laughed loud on the outside but screaming to get out in the inside. How could I possibly bare with that? I have no clue.

I found myself lying on my bed again but this time with a different situation when I felt my heart are much more broken that it ever had, when I found the truth and this is the fact that I must face. The funniest part is I’ve been telling myself this quite a few times and still I keep on repeating it again and again without getting bored and now I doubt whether the statement I must face the truth ever been true.

I found myself lying on my bed again but this time with a different situation.

With cuts and bruises everywhere in my heart, I realized it is time for me to let go.

My eyes are shut.

My mind is blocked.

My heart has crushed and I have turned my feeling back to where it should be.

“I missed the time when only cuts and bruises that made a woman cries.”

Wish the best for you, D… I wish you happiness…

“You can be mad as a mad dog at the way things went. You can swear and curse the fates but when it comes to the end, you have to let go.” The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

totally random

2009-11-26T14:08:00.004+11:00

I think this is time for me to wake up from my long sleep and to stop dreaming.

All of the sudden, I found it true that a true friendship is hardly exist in this big world so does what we called a relationship between a man and a woman.

Especially when you stucked in a foreign country, living as a total stranger, trying to cope with everything; at the same time trying to be NICE to every one and you realized that it never gets return to you.

26 November 2009 14.00pm

When I was brushing my teeth then suddenly I thought, "No! I was wrong. Maybe they are trying to learn. Give them chances! You are not the only human that live on Earth."

26 November 2009 11.55 pm

2009-11-21T23:30:00.005+11:00

"...i fell too deep into your love that I can't go out from it..."

Spare me, please

Bersamamu.mp3 - Vierra

11.11

2009-11-15T23:15:00.004+11:00

I don't know whether it is true or not but some said that if you happened to see 11.11 on your watch or your clock or whatever it is that is connected to time, it means "someone is missing you and thinking of you"

11.11 there it was on my mobile screen. For a moment I wish the time will just freeze but you just can't stop the time. Trying to capture the moment but screw my webcam, i missed it by one minute.

If the superstition is true, I wonder who is the lucky person that is missing me now? (:

.The Sky makes me blind.

2009-11-15T17:36:00.007+11:00

Hey, back from my Canberra trip and I want to show you something..

I just realized how I love watching the clouds creativity and make the sky even more beautiful...

what do u see? i see a pig flying up there haha

how about this? a pony maybe..(:

and this? its like a big wing for me..

and this one, i just love the view, for a moment i thought i was in heaven not until i see another road sign telling us that we were about to reach Canberra.

.I am no where.

2009-11-10T21:18:00.007+11:00

Need some time alone but turned out it did not help at all so i'm trying to stay in the crowd; it turned out the same, as I see myself not blending in. It just like water and oil.

I am telling the truth here; please I am not trying to hurt anybody or say anything bad.

This is completely my own feeling and thoughts.

As I see further into the mirror, I saw that people around me is moving on and even got things they wanted and I am still in the same point exactly like where I was last week, last month or maybe last year.

I feel jealous yes. like I am the unluckiest person on earth.

But still I try to say thanks every morning whenever I woke up, thanks for the chances cause I'm breathing, thanks for the food I got though it was not very nice (school canteen what do you expect), thanks that I have my friends here, thanks that the sun is still shining for the earth and rain is still dropping for the trees and wind is still blowing for us.

Maybe this is time for me to think wiser that every man on earth; our life is like spinning wheel. This is what I called the lesson of life. although i feel like i am in no where on earth.

.my evol letter.

2009-11-08T13:13:00.002+11:00

Dear love,

I'm sorry that I need to make this decision. Sorry for not telling you too but this is life and I realized that I need to move on and so do you. I've been through this whole nine months in confusion, pain, trying to live as normal as I can be when life is without you. At least for this nine months I haven't shed a tears on you not till last night. Maybe because I cried too much on the night you told me that things need to be ended. How our story ended was not our fault, it was just the situation, it is and it will be because of the situation and I understand it.

Yes, not until last night that finally I sheded another tears for you and made me realized that no matter how hard I am telling myself that I can go through this lot, I will end up on the same spot, at the same end.

Please tell me, how do you mend this broken heart? Cause I don't know how to and I'm exhausted. I guess you're right when you told me that I need not to wait. How stupid I am that I was not listening to you at all. So stupid that I thought I must be strong enough. In fact, I'm not and I'm sorry for that. You're right, I shouldn't have wait.

Dear love, I can't tell you about all this kind of crap right ifo your face. The reason is you know and I know that I will just purse my lips and not going to tell you at all. You know it better than me.

I'm sorry dear not be able to be with you. My heart feels pain when I let my imagination went wild, that you were there on the bench or in the car or somewhere else holding someone's else hand and not mine.

We need to move on and I'm just afraid that if my imagination came true, it will be you who moved on and I will be standing right in this point, looking at your back and hers. If you think I'm so selfish, yes I am and I had enough with this pain.

I know you're going back for three months and I don't know whether it is long enough for you to forget me or maybe the other way around, for me to forget you. Maybe after another couple of months we will be able to forget each other. When the right time comes maybe both of us will bump to each other in the cafe or in the mall or on the street, on the bus maybe..and from that moment on we will be a grown up with our own lifes and we will be just friend without pain and regret. Talking and sharing and talking again and so on...can't wait till this day.

I'm sorry dear. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I think I had enough with this crap.
At the end, if you asked me why i had done this. I think I'll just show you this letter that will be hidden for I don't know, weeks, months, years or you will never even figure it out. *sob sob*

For every girls and boys who are deeply madly in love right now, just ignore me!

"(boy+girl) x love = disappointment"

Fish in the Sky

Finance. No more..

2009-11-04T08:10:00.004+11:00

I've been awakened for more than 12hours.

Lack of sleep and have not touch any food yet.

not until one hour ago, i had my breakfast.

I haven't slept yet..and it is 8am in the morning now.

Finally, my financial analysis statement has finished. Unfortunately, it is not over yet.

Business Law is coming due by tomorrow! yes exactly tomorrow by 8.30 am so how much time do i have now?

I have approximately less than 5hours for me enjoying my sleep.

Pray and hope.

Wish me bunch of luck, I don't want to fail this subject or any subject.

with luck, forward.

Free me!!

2009-11-01T18:33:00.002+11:00

assignments! exams! quizzes!

they're haunting me..following me wherever I go...

Sick of papers, powerpoint slides, excel spreasheet and pdf -sssss..

I feel like crying. They make me sick! I want my holidayyyy...

and I need a JOB! for my placement...

Stay focus and stay AWAKE!! slap myself-stop sleeping!! inhale-exhale-inhale-exhale

with luck, forward.

.thank you.

2009-10-29T19:06:00.002+11:00

I'm talking to you and that is all I need.

I'm fine (:

whether you have sixth sense or is it because God makes you listen to my prayer? or whatever reason it is that "brings" you to me and though we are talking as friend.

I just want to say that I am glad and thank you.

secure me with your words..

2009-10-29T10:14:00.002+11:00

I had a strange dream last night.

You were there, hugging me.

Even when I tried to run away and I did but you were still there pulling my hand, asking me to stay.

Every time I went through that moment, I went blank-hopeless-trying to put my pieces together so I won't get loss.

Please, secure me with your words. I'd like to listen and believe.

Should I blame you for haunting my sleep?

You've made me miss you more and now I'm loss again in my own words.

I need my strength back.

.Mr Matlof nice wise quote.

2009-10-28T10:36:00.003+11:00

This what i got from my whole 2hours tutorial class for Management Accounting...

"Don’t credit someone for what they don’t do"

"Don’t deny someone for what they have done"

nice one Sir (:

All of the sudden, Mr Matlof said it after two hours trying to get us understand about our first individual assignment talking and explaining about how to analyse the IHG annual report.

I was there on my chair trying -and i mean it- really hard to concentrate on what he was saying. It was just too difficult for me.

The only thing I got from Mr Matlof class was his all of the sudden wise quote and...

*sigh*

I don't even know what I'm trying to say here.

so, back to business law, again...

*sign out*

p.s this is my only escape from studying business law. *grinnn..

2009-10-28T00:52:00.003+11:00

pic taken from Dola's album (:

I envy you guys..

I wish I could fly back home..

Visit me here..donkkk..!! ):

yes, i miss you guys too!

2009-10-27T17:18:00.006+11:00

wanna shout as loud as i can to say:

Medan, I miss you.

Home. I miss you.

Endola, I miss you.

Hey, teman2 and sohib2. I miss you.

Sate padang. I miss you.

Nasi padang. I miss you.

Mom's sang wo. I miss you.

Bataksua. I miss you.

Sun plaza. I miss you.

Quoted from Dola's blog

"can't find "you" here.. friends

everyone just like a partner..

some of them will disagree with me..

yeah all of this is according to me, just my opinion(no offence)

they are nice, kind, fun...

BUT

i feel....i just think...umm

no words can be arranged

I MISS YOU FRIENDS...CAN'T WAIT BACK HOME SOON"

I found it quite true. Thank you Dola for reminding me back again.

Yes, my new friends all of them are very supportive. I try to understand and get along with them and I believe they are doing the same thing too.

Well, I don't pick friends.

Friends come and go but only the best will stay in your heart and I called them Best Friend.

I feel blessed for having all of you.

2009-10-23T21:17:00.002+11:00

I wish I could be there for you, like what i used to do.

Be wise and be strong.

I believe in you.

I wish you, good luck...

2009-10-21T19:08:00.003+11:00

randomly taken

: "This is the way things are. You can't change nature."

: "Change is nature. The part that we can influence and it starts when we decide."

: "Where are you going?"

: "With luck, forward."

2009-10-16T14:27:00.002+11:00

Friday, 16 Oct '09

Yes, I am missing you again. But no! I'm too scared that you might know it and read my mind.

Yes, I am standing exactly where I am standing now too afraid to step ahead.

So, I stepped backwards and make myself invisible.

Cause I know there is someone there right in front of you and it is time for me to keep running and to never come back.

I wish you, happiness...

2009-10-14T00:13:00.001+11:00

Long story short...

I miss you. I really do.

back from holiday

2009-09-29T20:39:00.007+10:00

back from Gold coast

Yes, we had so much fun. well, at least i did and i am going back there for sure. (:

First day, our flight was delayed for 4hours due to the dust storm.

no mate, my friend didn't edit the photo. it was because of the dust

getting bored

due to the heavy storm at GC, we were not allowed to land at the GC airport

another 1 hour trip from Brisbane to Gc

Finally, Gold Coast here we are. (:

Second day, having fun in Movie World yihaaaa

Third day, wet n wild.. i miss the Tornado and Kamikaze ):

Last day, Surfers Paradise nice one (:

lvl77, freak me out

view from lvl 77, Q1 Goldcoast tallest building

Yes, we missed Dream World ):

well, i told ya i'm going back there for sure :D

the black and white

2009-09-13T22:53:00.004+10:00

The thought of it makes me wonder, "why my parents never let me learn musical instrument?"

when others keep on pushing their children to learn it.

It sounds funny, i know.

Deep inside my mind i wish i had learnt it.

i wish my parents were just the same as others.

i wish i knew how to let my fingers dance on top of it.

i wish i knew how to play it.

i wish i could play a duet song with audrey or any other girls i know.

Sitting beside drey's when she was playing the piano made me want to sit a bit longer or wish the time could fly a bit slower.

-I'm amazed-

-I can't play that's why I listen-

and

I don't blame my parents; still loving them

out of my safety zone

2009-09-12T23:59:00.006+10:00

paintball, people?

today was our paintball day.. and it hurts.

most of us or i should say, all of us..went home with scratches and bruises with its wonderful colours.

anw...

you should try it once, i won't tell much cause it won't be fun if you know it.

Go and give a hit!

and it's too late now

am crawling to my bed with pain all over my body.

novy & drey

drey-wid-novy

bersakit-sakit dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian

2009-09-08T22:09:00.002+10:00

...AND

Final exam of term 3, 2009 is just ifo my face-i am not prepare at all.

I'm scared but on the other hand when i tried to study...

I will end up:

sleeping on my cozy dozy bed (oopsss)
trying to find my split ends (oohh u should see how bad it is)
browsing the internet
watching movies
facebooking-it has been blocked now for 24/7 (should i say thank you or what)
daydreaming/nightdreaming-whatever it called
playing online games-geezzz..
and today i ended up playing audrey's little piano coz i found a free piano lesson from internet....

I need to stop playing and... sleeping i reckon ;p

btw, it is two weeks before my exams and why am i bother to study when it is not my usual behaviour?

well...

14 days before we're off to GOLDcoast.. yay!!!

and i need to make sure i got good marks or else my mom will kill me for sure

study hard : play hard

some things are restricted to say so I wrote it down..

2009-08-31T22:52:00.006+10:00

But whatever it may take

However my heart breaks

I'll keep singing in the rain

'till you back again.

I'm standing here still wonder why

we have to say goodbye.

But whatever it may take

However my heart breaks

I'll keep singing in the rain

'till you back again.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jamesyg/3854863839/

Whatever it may take-MLTR

I know what I feel

I know this is real

I used to think love was escapable

Can't see why we should be divided

Isn't life just unbelievable

Home to you-MLTR

To: RAndom People

2009-08-24T00:03:00.002+10:00

Hey! Wake up!

Do not be so proud with what you have now?

Do you still remember how you got up till this far?

Yes, because of the people around you including some random people that you need to respect or even just saying "Hi" to who cares if you don't know them just because they are random.

Hey people! Wake UP!!!

We do not need your bow or your silly billy and untruthful words.

We need your smile or even just a simple words as "Hi"

Do you need me to teach you how to say "Hi"?

hey!

2009-08-22T02:01:00.002+10:00

I've got this empty feeling.

The place seems so crowded yet I see myself standing there alone.

I'm deaf.

I don't hear their laughter.

I don't hear the music playing out loud.

I can see their smile. I can't hear their voice.

Hey! buddy. are you there?

I miss you and I need you.

Hey! buddy. are you there?

I just want to say once again.

---I miss You---

"A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea" Honore de Balzac

Save me some space to BREATHE

2009-08-18T23:11:00.002+10:00

I've been stucked here for 13 months 1 week and 3days...

and my level 2 is no playing at all (ok, maybe i'm too over-writing it) i did had some fun.

With assignments all over the place plus the quizzes plus all the presentation plus the practical classes.

and I just need some space to breathe..

or...

maybe i've been playing so much that i left them all behind?

..........I just need to push myself harder.........

F-A-M-I-L-Y

2009-08-13T21:21:00.003+10:00

Other things may change us but we start and end with FAMILY.

♥J♥J♥J♥J♥

My Family:

Papi ♥ - Mami ♥ - I am the BIG SISTER :D - Win net (Smart a**) ;p - William (Grown up??) - Willton (Little Creature) ;D - ieie (Trendy Mother) - Grandma - Heaven Pho2 - Heaven Grandpa ♥♥

-Time Forgets-

2009-08-07T13:22:00.003+10:00

Some people said "Time will heal all your wounds"

I said "Time won't heal any wounds if you have no braveness to heal it yourself"

As for me..

I don't want the wounds to be healed 'cause I want to learn and let those wounds to remind me whenever I turned to the other wrong way, again.

Or..

Maybe I am just too scared to be brave?

I don't know...

=X

2009-07-19T23:27:00.003+10:00

Some facts are better to be left untold.

Unless it is going to break you more.

I'll call it a "break"

2009-07-16T19:51:00.003+10:00

I visited Jenolan caves few days ago and it was A-W-E-S-O-M-E

Anyone that happen to visit Australia and especially the Blue Mountains please come and try this adventure. It is highly recommended. (:

As for me, I need something new cause I'm pretty sick of the Three Sisters in Katoomba.xp

It is beautiful that you just can't hate the view. (:

no title

2009-07-14T17:38:00.002+10:00

Yes.

I screwed up my first day in front office.

Although my trainer said that i was doing good, but still i realized that i've given them a bad first impression.

And yes..

I am not as excited as last year in school.

I hope everything is going to be alright.

I am doing my best...

Fish Market. Ice Age 3.

2009-07-06T21:31:00.008+10:00

Fish market for lunch. Nice spot, nice view, nice food, nice weather. it was just perfect. except for the annoying birds...seagulls...! (is it the correct name?) anw, i don't care. the most annoying bird i've ever seen.

we called it "bugs" as what my ku2 said. it is the children of lobsters and crabs.crab's for its head and lobster's for its tail.

sug2 and I

ku2 and I

grilled

garlic prawn

mornay

rock oyster

Watched Ice Age 3D..it was funny but did not meet my expectation. anw, it was a good movie though. Must watch!!

with our 3D glasses. ow, we looked weird haha

take 1#

take 2#

take 3#

.Michael Jackson.

2009-06-26T14:55:00.005+10:00

May you rest in peace...

Bye. Michael Jackson. the "King of Pop"

1958-2009

Here is one of my favourite yet memorable song. His song. Once played a very important role in my life.

Hope you Enjoy! it as much as i do.

You are not Alone (Acapella) - Michael Jackson

..YOU CAN..

2009-06-25T17:00:00.002+10:00

Take me where I've never been
Help me on my feet again
Show me that good things come to those who wait
Tell me I'm not on my own
Tell me I won't be alone
Tell me what I'm feeling isn't some mistake
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love, you can

Save me from myself, you can
And it's you and no one else
If I could wish upon tomorrow tonight would never end
If you asked me I would follow
But for now I'll just pretend
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love, you can

Baby, when you look at me
Tell me what do you see
Are these the eyes of someone you could love?
'Cause everything that brought me here
Well, now it all seems so clear
Baby, you're the one that I've been dreaming of
If anyone can make me fall in love, you can

Save me from myself, you can
And it's you and no one else
If I could wish upon tomorrow tonight would never end
If you asked me I would follow
But for now I'll just pretend
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love

Only you can take me sailing in your deepest eyes
Bring me to my knees and make me cry
And no one's ever done this
Everything was just a lie and I know, yes, I know

This is where it all begins
So tell me it will never end
I can't fool myself, it's you and no one else

If I could wish upon tomorrow tonight would never end
If you asked me I would follow
But for now I'll just pretend
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love, you can

Show me that good things come to those who wait ...

DAVID ARCHULETA-You Can

Source: www.elyrics.net

lets dress up your hand. (:

2009-06-25T00:51:00.012+10:00

due to the recession and winter...

which means not many tourists will come to visit sydney

which means once again not many guests will fill up my hotel where i work at the moment

which means i've been sitting on my ass this past few days doing absolutely nothing

well except to eat, taking shower and watching dvd-s

well....

SO. instead of lying on my bed sleeping again and again (which made me feel like a baby again).

I started to learn how to dress up my nail.

It is fun and annoying at the same time. haha. but it makes me proud as well.

I keep learning though with different style and different technique. I'm trying to be as creative as I can be, trying to mix and match one pattern with another.

So yeah, it's quite useful at least i could kill my too-much-spare-time with something useful. haha. although i should tell you that i'm not using my own nail art tools. They are my auntie's. So thanks to her. ((:

I could build up my creativity and my patience. *phiew.

some pictures. it was not perfect but i am practicing.. still. (:

wanna try?

I'm FINE.... (maybe)

2009-06-20T18:32:00.011+10:00

A very close friend started a short conversation just now via msn.

# : how are u?

me : i'm fine.

# : are u alrite now?

me : of course i'm alrite. what do u think?

# : haha. don't u feel lonely? can you stand it?

me : ...............

i'm fine. although i feel like falling. but i must not.

cause once i fall, i know i won't be able to get up because no one will be there to hold my hand.

suddenly, those questions made me think again.

am i really fine? well, i got two answers in my head.

a. yes, i am. in fact i'm here still surviving and still moving on.

b. no, i am not. i'm just faking it and pretending that i am fine. because i am too scared to face my own problem and the reality.

yet, till now. i can't decide which one is my answer.

if one asked,"how are you now? feeling better?" " yeah, i'm fine. thanks"

in fact that is what my mouth will say autom

atically but my heart will whisper again through my ears..... "maybe"

..ONE HOUR LATER..

then an hour after i wrote those thing

s above, suddenly i realized, "I'm NOT ALONE".

i won't let this feeling pulling me down. i've grown up and people who love me once said that i am a strong and tough girl. Because those people around me had try their best to cheer me up and to put me once again in a right path. If I fall today, i will certainly make them and myself disappointed.

i believe. even though i fall there will be someone who will share their hands for me...

dedicated to: my friends and family. (:

.i wish you. GOODLUCK

2009-05-26T23:25:00.004+10:00

"A minute's success pays the failure of years"

-Robert Browning-

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm"

-Sir Winston Churchill-

"I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right"

-Albert Einstein-

dedicated to my sister.

just a short note from me:

i wish you goodluck, always. i know you've been through a lot. but even if you fail this time, do not stand still and do not frown. Keep going and keep learning. Even Einstein succeed after his ninety-nine times. As wise people said "Aim for the highest" but "Prepare yourself to fall as well cause one will never been succeed before he experienced the pain"

with love,

devianart.com

. a simple love story.

2009-05-22T23:12:00.003+10:00

ONCE upon a time...

i'm waiting for your "happy ending" slash "invitation card" (:

dedicated to koko Hadi & my beloved kuku

BE BLESSED (:

RAIN. you are NOT my type.

2009-05-22T22:30:00.004+10:00

rain rain go away come again another day.

little children want to play.

oh. this rain is annoying. it keeps raining again again and agai

n. let me think. 4days in a row plus the strong blowing wind. oh yes. it is not just a normal wind. even when i was sleeping. i can hear the sound of the blowing wind. *woosh woosh*. annoying.!!!

i cant do my laundry.

i cant go out. oh. if you know what i mean i bet you'll feel the same.

and i dont like the sound. it makes me nervous and uncomfortable. ):

really. Rainy day is not my type. at all.

it is still raining outside. xo

.ALRIGHT.

so. to keep me busy. i made myself "es ganefo kacang hijau" lol.

it took about 3hours for the whole process of making this "es ganefo" haha

got the recipe from my mom. and it is really simpleasy. (simple+easy) (:

and. oh still remember about my hand that was burnt by hot water?

i don't know but i think it is getting worse & very itchy as well. makes me wanna scratch it. ah can't help.

FUN things for this week.

2009-05-21T09:36:00.007+10:00

.Long time no post.

WEll. so for this week. let us see.

*watched angels & demons.

*karaoke-ing. uahhh. i'm lovin it. xD

*visit several restaurants.

*visit Max Brenner.

*is having my 5days off.

*cut myself with a toaster. YES. toaster. can you imagine that? haha. i bet you can't.

*burnt my fingers with brewing hot water. and it still hurts. ): i try to avoid water as much as possible now. lol.

*bought a new pair of boots.

uah. that's it. got nothing to share at the moment.*phiew. i wish i had something to share.

my bad. ):

SO. let me share some of the pictures with you. This is the results and the only evidence of FUN things that we had after our tiring day.

the couple. (:

St. Mary's Cathedral.

Max Brenner's chocolate.

Edamame.

Unagi.

My mexican chilli hot chocolate.

Honeycomb & Lemon Meringue cupcakes.

(i had chocolate & blueberry before and they were nice as well. yum.)

GOOD morningggg.

2009-05-17T05:20:00.002+10:00

yes. it is now 5.15 am in the morning.

i am about to start my work. haha.

well.

i lost my necklace that i loved so much. last night. when i was taking my shower. damn!!!

you have no idea how i was feeling last night. just by imaging it makes me angry, upset and sad. *sigh. the worst is. i bought it like 1week agooo..so yeah. you can tell that my heart is broken enough.

wuaahh. i don't know how to describe my feeling. ):

i want my necklace BACK!!! ):

i am bored.

2009-05-15T21:14:00.005+10:00

dot dot dot ...

2009-05-15T13:58:00.003+10:00

Quote of the day : work hard. play hard. shop hard. *grinnn.

*phiew. So. to keep you update bout Daniel's birthday. hm. it was alright haha. Since he like it so much so yeah. no regret then.

nothing much that i can share. well let me think. *think think think*.

well. i really got nothing on my head at the moment. haha.

chilling.

2009-05-08T18:14:00.003+10:00

i just had my nice and warm shower and i feel very comfy now.

yes. having a warm shower always makes me feel good. esp, with this cold cold cold weather. brrr i just wish i had a bathtub. haha wish i got one back at school. fyi, i'm going back to school this July as a year 2 student. happy, excited but it also means that i need to face more assignment plus another thick books that i should read. wuahh. HELP.

okhey. i am sitting in front of my laptop, tik tik tik=blogging, having choki2 in my mouth or should i say hanging on my mouth with my teeth trying to push the choco out. hahaha. oh. how i love this choki2 thing. thank God. oz has choki2 too which i believe was imported from indonesia. xD kyaaa.

next thing. call my mom haha. i know it will end up for an hour talk. xp

what's next? oh. Daniel's birthday is coming really really soon. 6hours to go. *counting wohoo. i'm excited.

well. what's next?? hmm. i don't know. maybe i'll end up lying and sticking my lazy ass on my bed. haha.

*choki2 still hanging on my mouth xp. oh. weird face. ):

oh.dear.

2009-05-07T22:09:00.001+10:00

geezzz.

can't wait till this saturday. his birthday is coming for sure. really hope he will like it. oh oh oh...dearrrr..

T-I-R-E-D

2009-05-05T19:29:00.004+10:00

5 words to describe my situation.

T-I-R-E-D will be the best. YES. i've worked for 7 days in a row. tomorrow will be my seventh day and is looking forward to my 3days off. can't wait. although i'm not sure on how will i spend those 3days time. beside watching dvds, utubing, n eating lol.

okhey. can't wait to see my payslip, i was wondering on how much i've earned for this past 2weeks coz i've been working again and again, a lot and a lot. xp

well. i'm going to buy an earphone for "him". of course the one that he has adored so much. his birthday is on 9th May this Saturday. I was wondering what we will do if we still together. oh. i think it is going to be sweet and special. anyway, it was just my imagination.

the fact that both of us is far from family and we don't really have friends here except i know him well and he know me well. i thought i should make his birthday special. (: i hope he likes my present. and the most important thing is he hasn't bought the stuff yet. (:

ALRIGHT. time to call my mom and time for me to cook. go to sleep. and face tomorrow with spirit and smile. (it's hard to do that actually) for it is really difficult for me to get out from my bed lol.

and i called it : dilemma :

2009-04-22T18:12:00.002+10:00

|to meet someone is a chance. yet to love someone is a choice.|

and i totally agree with it. why? hm. may i say that i was actually in that situation before and. now.

well. how should i start.

what if someone you know well confess his love to you. like. several times already? and yes. it is the same person. the worst is he is your bestfriend's ex-bf and your ex-bf's bestfriend. yeah i know. it is complicated, isn't it?

i don't know how to put the whole story in words. but the point is. to love someone is definitely our own choice. and i choose to love the one that i had before. and keeps loving him till the end. although i might ended with someone else. but. first love never die, right? (: umm. yes. i just realize that my first love is him. not anybody else if you know what i mean. (:

so for you Mr. R. i am truly sorry i need to say another "NO" to you. because you are my friend and will always be. you will finally find the one that you truly love. so be tough.

and the most important thing is because i am the one who choose the one that i want to be with.

感謝那是你牽過我的手

2009-04-18T19:15:00.004+10:00

i thank you for holding my hands.

感謝那是你牽過我的手

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQDhm-ai8iw&feature=related

things that i adore and wish to own.

2009-04-16T22:19:00.003+10:00

rather than writing another pathetic story of mine.

i think it is wiser to write several lists of things that i really adore and really wish to have.

at least i could keep my mind away from those stressful thought and keep myself busy thinking about my "passion". lol. trying xtra hard to earn as much money as i can. and to safe as much as i can too. *grin

camera. *klik klik
new ipod. mine is old and a bit broken ): can't help.
headphone. well, mine is broken as well haha.
a BIG or should i say HUGE teddy bear. *grin
plane ticket. to anywhere i wish to go. *haha the hardest one.

last one. an earphone for "him". he adored this BOSE brand. hm.

well well well.

need to work harder. save harder.

my passion to have those things.

i mean who doesn't. ;D

.i believe.

2009-04-11T18:50:00.001+10:00

yeah. i believe.

haha i'm back. surprised?

well. i need some time to put back my body and mind together.

yep. things are changing now. it changed so much indeed. and it keeps changing.

"he" that no longer mine. how are you? i'm dying to talk to you. i really wish i could spend some time with you. well. as Friend, i supposed.

Like two best friends that keep sharing stories and things and. aahh. i'm all alone you know.

but i guessed this the best way.

to keep a distance among each other.

to keep both of us safe so that our heart wont get hurt anymore.

we both know. we both understand. this is our story, to be kept remain in our heart.

to give us time. yeah. time. to put back our mind and heart into their right position. =P

why did we choose this path.

let the answer remain silent. here. inside. our. <3

i believe. someday. when everythings back to normal again.

i believe. someday. when both of us dare to see each other again.

i believe. someday. we will become Friend one more time.

i believe. when the time comes. we wont "hurt" our <3.>

let us continue our daily, boring life. haha.

FYI, i will always be there. i'm dying to let you know. but. i believe. you knew it. haha

well. 2months ago, i was crying. begging you to come back quickly.

in fact. you never come back dear. will. never. again.

then, may i repeat my last sentence for you.

fly. dear. fly.

and goodbye.

in fact that i still love you, makes me insane. i love you. so much indeed.

but no worries dear. i wont say anything stupid to you.

i am fine. you can count on me (=

i will.

i hope so.

2009-03-25T17:55:00.001+11:00

wid's here. needs some inspiration. )=
humpphh. i used to talk to him that no longer mine. i could killed my time and started to do things. now that he has gone. to whom should i cry all my heart out?

Life. only ONCE.

2009-02-07T01:02:00.000+11:00

Your life is..PRECIOUS

We never know when we can stay alive like this. Yes. there has been a sad news that came from my school which was "one of our fellow student has passed away in a car accident that happened in Cairns."

That's why my friend..
Love and care. with every single person that you know. and care. and be true to them.
Respect your life. Do respect with others. with your friend. with your family. father. mother. sister. brother. etc. with you YOURSELF.
Appreciate your life my friend. You live once and if you screwed it up. nothing left on you. Don't ever think that your life is useless. Nothing in this world is useless. It is about how you manage them.
Live well. Do whatever you want to do. Reach every ambition that you dream of. Live your Life.

Be YOU.
Be true to Yourself.
Take the good thing in.
Learn the bad thing as well.
Be positive.

Don't be afraid to say "You Love THem" if that is what you want to say.
Father. Mother. Brother. Sister. Lover. Buddy. Friends. Coworkers.

Don't be afraid to jump. if that is what you want to do.
Don't be afraid to laugh if laugh is all you want.
Don't be afraid to dream if dream is all you can do.

Don't be afraid my friend. This is your world too.
There is no right or wrong. Be brave.
You live once my friend. Be good to them.

you. yourself.

just believe~~

2009-02-05T00:03:00.002+11:00

i am going to miss him for SURE. yep yep he is going back to our hometown, MEDAN. guess for how long. 3 weeks is the answer. that is too much. too long. T.T

today he left.
9.30pm flight. hope he will have a very nice flight. hope he could sleep (i know he wont sleep) he has to be in a certain position to be able to sleep. haha so cute. hope he could enjoy his meal up there. the most important thing is "HE is going to arrive safely" in medan.
8.30 pm. one hour before he catch the plane. huah. n i had this uncomfortable feeling already. the world is different w/o him. call me nerd. but this is what i feel. i cant imagine what am i going to do for the next 3weeks. waiting for him to come back here. its going to be very tough.

Hope time will run faster.

he haven't even left and i am here. missing him badly already.

cant wait to see you.
enjoy your time back there.
hope u will remember to call me, text me, or at least email me.
wont disturb ur time.
take ur 3weeks time. do whatever u want. u are free.
i wont be there to bother you.
just dun ignore me if i call you. or sent u messages. plis.
Fly dear. Fly.

at the end..

See you again..on MARCH (=25 days before u come back.

.missing you.

my lifeguard. (: